I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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