is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
