so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
