It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize