I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
