Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize