4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
