I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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