hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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