NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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