If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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