All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
