Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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