worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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