Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
