i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
