Don't you send me to vm
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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