I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
