i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
