have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
