but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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