I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
