yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
