Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
