chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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