mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
