WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
