I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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