it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
