I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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