i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
