Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
