So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
