Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
