don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to stop coming to work sober
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
