I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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