My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
