If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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