He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
