I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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