The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
