my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
