Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
