Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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