I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I enjoy the company of your penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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