she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
