trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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