My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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