I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
