it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
These tits shall not be calmed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
