i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
