me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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