It's Friday. Sex?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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