Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
