im drinking this country out of the recession.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
