why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
