College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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