Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
