just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
