great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So many bounce houses so little time
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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