Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
