I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
